Sunday, June 26, 2005

new diet

Hey clergy! Having trouble shedding those pesky extra pounds? Finding those cookies and slices of cake from Coffee Hour are starting to take your collar size up a notch or two?

Try the Ordination Weight Loss plan! For a mere sum of $99.99, plus the cost of transportation and vestments, we guarantee you will lose 5 pounds in the space of two hours. Other spas and weight treatment centers might make you the same promise, but you will have to endure hours wrapped in seaweed or aluminum foil. Simply show up in your black clothes, put on a robe or two,(don't forget to pull that cincture nice and tight) hang a red wool and/or satin stole around your neck and participate in Episcopal aerobics (sit, stand, kneel) with your colleagues.
Bonus--all your favorite ordination and communion hymns.

(Although otherwise a very lovely service, the ordination yesterday at the Cathedral in OKC was marred by the peripatetic behavior of the air-conditioning. Mostly it was off. On the other hand, a hot, humid environment makes for good singing--unless you've passed out before the descants. Why again do we clergy in the Southwest wear vestments originally designed by people who lived in Northern Europe? Just asking.)


At 8:36 PM, Blogger Lindsay said...

sounds like our ordinations in stl....we were roasting...and i was happy to be in the peanut gallery (do we use that word in church) and not in vestments....oh well...maybe in 6-7 years......right now i will stick to weight watchers :)

At 10:46 AM, Blogger Lydia Agnew Speller said...

At least we don't wear hair shirts under them. At least, I don't.


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